What is an emotion?
An emotion is a physiological response that enables a person to adapt to a situation. The primary emotions are anger, joy, fear and sadness.
A separation induces sadness, anger and also a sense of loss and failure.
According to a number of psychiatrists including Christophe Fauré, a separation is the equivalent of mourning due to it being an identical process, keeping in mind that each person is unique and that each separation is unique.
According to Christophe Fauré, different phases occur, of variable durations depending on the person:
- We can indeed distinguish a phase of shock, amazement, denial along with emotional numbness and phases of emotional fits, like an uncontrollable urge to cry. It is very important not to avoid this phase since this is an emotional security valve.
- What follows is an escape/search phase, noticeable in certain people, bottled up in others with sometimes hyperactivity. One constantly thinks about the other person, and familiar places seem irresistibly appealing. It is when dwelling on things occur.
- Then follows the deconstruction phase when the person is confronted by different emotions:
- Anger / rebellion, against fate, against another person, against oneself, why me?
- Guilt, we blame ourselves for not having done the right thing, or not having correctly interpreted certain signs, not having been communicative enough, it is too late to go back to a past that we bitterly regret.
This guilt is often paired up with a lowered self-esteem, often accompanied by a depressive phase which has its own dynamics and evolves through different steps: sleeping problems, appetite disorders, multiple pains (headache, nausea, palpitations), physical slowing down, lowered intellectual capacities, alteration of one’s clarity of judgement, and sadness.
Beware, the symptoms of this depressive phase should be different from clinical depression which is a complication of the former: loss of interest, apathy, insomnia and should be examined by a doctor.
- Fear/anxiety with a loss of one’s points of reference, palpitations, nausea, vertigo.
- Anguish in facing daily life
4. Then comes the construction phase:
- Redefinition of one’s relations with others and the world: how am I perceived socially, aware that there is a new living space in which I can rebuild everything.
- Redefinition of one’s relationship with oneself.
How can sophrology help?
To manage an emotion, it is important to recognise it and listen to it. Sophrology can help identify, welcome and express one’s emotions; in the construction phase it also helps to redefine one’s values.
Numerous interesting techniques can be explored to face this problem, for example:
- conscious breathing, where a space is found where one can express their emotions,
- positive activation, with the possible creation of a “resourceful area” which can be a new living space,
- working on the 5 senses to come back to the present moment and to silence one’s negative thoughts,
- working on self-confidence regarding one’s capacities to build a stable and harmonious relationship whether it be professional, friendly or love, and self-confidence to be able to live alone,
- the technique focused on values, which value is interesting for the person at the present moment?
- finally the Vittoz method can be interesting with its work focused on will.
The movements, exercises and techniques taught during sessions are simple and can be rehearsed at home alone. The idea is that the person is the main actor in their journey, with the help of the sophrologist.
5 sessions minimum, depending, of course, on the person’s problem, motivation and training. A person may only need a few sessions to activate the potential and positivity in oneself in order to pursue their journey serenely. Each separation or mourning process requires time and patience.
Sophrology sessions are generally held once a week. For better results, it is recommended to practice the exercises at home.